Waco meets Iraq.
US General Nuke Rubyridge had both hands protectively on his crotch, when Fotheringay had expertly black jacked him. Nuke woke up hands on crotch in Baghdad .. that Jewel in the Crown of the American Empire, he figured that somehow he had run foul of Lord Bad Egg.
At that point Nukes secretary, Colonel Anastasia Riphistabsoff knocked and barged in .. The heels of her cowboy boots sounded like the cast of river dance in action. the sun glinted from a pair of silver plated pearl handled colts .. her Rhinestone studded gun belt rested on her ample hips .. from the rear end .. and with her dark grey trousers and polished Texan jackboots .. she reminded Nuke of a retreating hippopotamus.
Addressing Nuke she clicked her heels and right arm extended at an angle above her head .. said .. the Vice presidents daily orders Sir! Then placed a sheaf of papers on his desk .. and stood waiting .. Ok Colonel said Nuke .. Diiiismissed! Oh and go powder your ass .. there is a foul smell in here.
In point of fact Nuke suffered severe digestive problems, one of the symptoms was an evil smelling, noisy and frequent flatulence .. but he never took the blame for anything .. that�s why he was surrounded by a whimpering simpering bunch of narks and toadies .. upon whom he unloaded the blame for all of his deficiencies and criminality.
Nuke sat sprawled in his powder blue gold edged uniform .. light grey jodhpurs and knee high shiny leather boots. the right and left side of his uniform jacket was covered with 666 medal ribbons.
To round it all off he wore a World War Two helmet and a polished black leather belt and holster which carried a 500 Magnum .. but pride of place was the Waco Star with Diamonds which glittered at his throat .. a gift from a grateful Vice President for the firm handling and rapid resolution of the Waco crisis.
Almost single handedly but with the assistance of 666 heavily armed FBI men, a few flame throwers and 66 battle tanks .. and 1 legal paper .. He burnt to death 666 screaming children and 66 assorted Terrorista .. thus a grateful Nation was saved from the deadly threat of restoration of the Constitution.
The cover page of the sheaf of daily orders bore the insignia of Tossad a Division of Zionist Homeland Security and seconded to the CIA and the FBI.
The bottom of the page was inscribed in thick black letters;from the office of the Vice President. Dickicanfixit Foraprice .. Telephone 666 Enron.
Opening a drawer of his desk Nuke took out the Red Cross
issue of a bottle of blood laced with Kentucky Bourbon .. and half emptied the bottle in one chug a lug .. he let out a long foul smelling belch and replaced the bottle back in the drawer .. he flipped back the cover page of the standing orders and commenced to read.(1.1 666)
Assemble Convoy of 666 Removal Vans. Assemble 666 armed men dressed in Iraqi Police Uniforms .. the personnel and vehicles should be drawn from the US/Israel/United Kingdom False Flag Brigade. I sold them the contract so you should have no problems in getting the numbers.(1.2 666)
Proceed to the Baghdad Museum .. kill any witnesses .. Liberate the Museum .. remove the Antiquities and transfer them to aforementioned removal vans.Proceed at high speed to Baghdad Airport .. place Antiquities with care into previously arranged wooden packing cases. Each case to be marked .. The Smithsonian (
URGENT). Then consign them to Flight 666 leaving the Airport at 06. 06. 06.The usual commission is payable plus a bonus of 6.66%. You may tell the Men that a 0.666% bonus will be awarded. However in order to qualify (This Offer is not open to friends or family) They must first complete a little mission.
(1.3 666)
In order to suitably celebrate the Vice Presidents Birthday we are going to have some fun. From the Airport you will all return at 60mph Through the side streets to Zionist HQ. A swerve or two is permissible and especially if it is intended to take out an enemy combatant.In fact the more enemy combatants taken out .. will increase your chances of pushing to the incinerator, a wheelbarrow load of used $1 Notes. I propose a sliding scale as follows.
|
Category of combatant |
Renumeration |
Confirmed Kills |
Possibles |
|
Blind Old Ladies in a wheelchair |
One Dollar ($1) |
Paid at full rate |
Paid at half rate |
|
Old Men (any) |
66 Cents |
||
|
Anybody on Crutches |
56 Cents |
||
|
Male Children |
46 Cents |
||
|
Girl Children |
36 Cents |
||
|
Adult Male |
26 Cents |
||
|
Adult Female |
16 Cents |
||
|
Mosque worshippers |
6 cents |
Oh while I remember Nuke .. You owe me your balls .. A team of Navy Seals got you out of the dungeons of Pharmageddon Castle. Not that I could understand why Bad Egg would want your scrawny balls hanging on the wall of his Trophy Room .. after all .. dogs balls would look so out of place .. So just remember who your Friends are.
Signed with Menace and in blood
Dickiwiki.
P.S. The Seals had to kill 666 senile old Beefeaters with Bulldogs so my advice is to stay out of Bad Eggs way for a while, I know he wants you dying to meet him. In fact he told me personally that he had ordered a hit .. it took a lot of Moolah to mollify him .. I am Garnisheeing your annual salary (but not the kickbacks) .. Just so that will you understand the gravity (not to mention expense) of the matter .. The President was not pleased.
